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01-Feb-2016 23:17 by 3 Comments

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Fast forward two decades, and their compliments now sound like feeble charity, if not downright fraudulent. On the eve of the holy day of Atonement, when the power of history and guilt compel even infidels like yours truly to refrain from casting aspersions on the ones we love, I cannot but look back on their pollyannish prophecies and shake my head. Small bubbles of evanescent joy popping at the surface of a cauldron boiling up with disappointment. The child who hears his parents boast of wildly unrealistic feats must one day take responsibility for his own life and his own identity—warts and all—and accept what he is and what he is not.

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Am I to join the Hall of Shame along with the other legendary busts of my time—Greg Oden, Michael Olowokandi, and Darko Milicic? And he must keep going, because life does not stop for whiners. I look back on my twenties, most of which were spent fretting about what was to come. Sure, in the back of my mind, I keep hoping my scot-free days of singledom will one day soon be behind me, and I’ll suck up the last incriminating shreds of bacheloresque indiscretions with my cordless hand vac, but that won’t stop me from enjoying my freedom while I have it.One day soon I’ll happily hang the chains of coupledom on their familiar grooves and swing them as I whistle down the street.And then, suddenly, my parents won’t be liars anymore.After all, one mom’s ladykiller is another woman’s lovable dork.Tags: compliments, cupid, Darko Milicic, family, freedom, Greg Oden, kavorka, lies, lothario, NYC, online dating, parents After a Friday evening HAW date with a very pleasant lady who, despite sharing my interest in several areas, and being cute, just didn’t hit the right nerve with me, I got a hit on Ok Cupid Locals. It’s their mobile app’s raison d’être, allowing users to click faces (let’s face it, we all love clicking faces) of allegedly nearby Cupids, indicating that you want to meet up in the very, very near future without fuss or drawn-out written exchanges.First is one of the largest online dating websites on the Internet.

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When I was a little boy, my family members, especially mom, grandmas, and other female members, got in the habit of telling anyone who would listen (and those who wouldn’t) that I would one day become a ladykiller. “Why, he’ll be married before his older brother” (who is significantly older).